They live among us – and they are human, well, almost.
I have slapped myself on the wrists for missing Parental Alienation Awareness Day. It was in my blogging diary for today. Heigh-ho. Looking on the bright side – Today’s Image of a happy pair bonded couple is a pleasing antidote to a dysfunctional human family dynamic.
I should have attempted to make you aware on Wednesday.
Reliable statistics are hard to find but a ballpark figure for first-world nations suggests that you, dear reader, have a one percent chance of knowing a ”child” (maybe now an adult) who has suffered from the child abuse that festers at the core of parental alienation.
Bare bones. Consider a family unit with a mother, a father and one child. If the three individuals follow the unwritten dictates of evolutionary biology, the family will get along fine. If something untoward has befallen one of the parents, perhaps in childhood, affecting their view of the world, corrupting their value system, and damaging their moral compass – the family unit can only muddle through, papering over the cracks.
So, at the three points of the family triangle – an alienating parent, a targeted parent, a weaponized child. (Sex/gender is irrelevant.)
The process of “turning” the child may go on for years and be so subtle the target doesn’t realize what is happening. And neither does the child.
A separation crisis brings everything to a head. Divorce is the most common trigger but a diagnosis of terminal illness given to the already disordered alienating parent works too.
Would you kindly now read an article by Edward Kruk on the Psychology Today website, The Impact of Parental Alienation on Children.
For those who have not read the article, here is the final paragraph:-
Hatred is not an emotion that comes naturally to a child; it has to be taught. A parent who would teach a child to hate or fear the other parent represents a grave and persistent danger to the mental and emotional health of that child. Alienated children are no less damaged than other child victims of extreme conflict, such as child soldiers and other abducted children, who identify with their tormentors to avoid pain and maintain a relationship with them, however abusive that relationship may be.
Eleven years after her mother’s death, my daughter still appears to hate me and to “identify with her tormentor”.
In the article’s penultimate paragraph:-
…alienated children seem to have a secret wish for someone to call their bluff, compelling them to reconnect with the parent they claim to hate.
To explain her rejection of me in 2007, to anyone who would listen, my daughter created a narrative in which I was described as a very bad person. I was shunned by almost everyone who heard the story.
So, please be aware, and if you should meet a poisoned, mind-altered, weaponized child/adult, have some compassion. Challenge their narrative. Give them pause. Don’t be complicit. Help them in their hours of need.
And for all the targets, the rejected, the abandoned, the character assassinated – remember the wonderful child you helped to create, whose company brought you so much happiness and amusement, (and, yeah, maybe some aggravation), before they were driven from you. Take responsibility for failing to keep them safe; grieve. Move on.
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return
W H Auden, September 1 1939
I urge compassion, too, for the alienators. Someone taught THEM to hate their own children. Do whatever you can to prevent the evil of Parental Alienation tumbling endlessly down the generations.
Worse things happen at sea, of course. Read the Auden poem here. Summary and analysis here. Wystan would later declare it trash, and say he was ashamed of the work, but the poem speaks to me, not just with regard to PA but also to the countless horrors being perpetrated all over the world now – based on lies.
After drafting the above, I watched a brief RT interview with Russia’s representative on the OPCW, following yesterday’s press conference/briefing in the Hague. Alexander Shulgin, at 4.25, told me something I didn’t know. In the summer of 1939, the German army arranged a fake attack by Polish soldiers, a provocation that gave the Nazis a pretext to begin World War Two on 1st September. A strange coincidence – and a reminder of our failure (yet again) to heed the lessons of history. The false flag event that opens up flight paths to Armageddon may not be far away now.